Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Sometimes I feel so different,

I constantly listen to movie scores.
I bite my nails.
I find it hard to have a lighthearted conversation.
I believe the fortunes in fortunes cookies.
I am not scared of spiders.
I don't like boys.
I still watch Beauty & The Beast, and I still get scared when the beast rawrs.
I view my life in 3rd person.
I am tan, but I wish I was pale.
I can relate to birds, more than the people around me.
I still don't know how to do my make up well.
I love star wars.
I don't know anything about football.
I cry during a movie, not because of the scene, but because of the soundtrack.
I don't ever use my cell phone.
I am a gay, mormon, republican.
I enjoy kissing more than sex.
I can't remember my dreams.
I have never smoked, tasted alcohol, or done drugs.
I believe in ghosts and life outside our planet.
I would rather fly alone than with someone else.
I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
I love to be woken up by another person, no matter how early it is.

and I always want what I can never have.

So often I let people go in my life,
but when someone can love me, despite my many imperfections and differences...
then I desperately cling onto them.
Because I don't even want to love myself.

4 comments:

  1. You would be surprised at how not "so different" you are, honestly.
    Although, I'm not a rebublican and I'm not a big fan of spiders. haha

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  2. DIFFERENT IS GOOD..RIGHT?
    You really do inspire me...you know, it's like waiting for someone or something, a dream or whatever...at the end makes it so much batter and so much happier. Waiting is not bad, and being different is beautiful, and being stubborn because you hope and want to get to that ULTIMATE HAPPINESS, is what makes you not just another human being :)
    I don't know you, but let me tell you that your words, and your enthusiasm and YOU as a whole have made me believe that there really are people that are worth waiting EVERY SECOND...really, you have enlightened me, and of course looking at your face is the bonus :) I randomly found you, and look at me now, writing this to a complete stranger and feeling like it's so personal. Whoever gets to wait for you...won't be disappointed. :)

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  3. it's hilarious...i have generalized anxiety disorder too, and i definitely find it hard to have lighthearted convos...also, i never use my cell and movie scores make me cry too. I stumbled across one of your vids, and im like addicted now lol. I think you're awesome. Keep doing what you're doing. Also, you have a beautiful voice! I kinda wish you lived here. It'd be nice to hang out with someone a bit more like myself - i don't drink/do drugs either. Oh, im 22 btw. :P

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  4. Jenna,
    I honestly just cried.
    Thats how much your words just took my breathe away and made me think about my own life. You and I have alot in common, but im sure you dont care. The way you discribe your life, and how you feel is deffinetly perfect. Your so gorgeous, and I wouldnt change a thing to be honest. Yeah im flirting, but hey, that must happen to you often right? We have so much in common, and I would love to talk to you about something, anything. Your talent has lead you to the clouds, and im standing here on the ground looking up, but please im asking you if you could come back down to earth for a moment, and contact me. Id appreciate it. Yah im a stranger, but you can trust me. Yeah i am one of million fans of yours, but i dont want to be a fan, i want to be a friend, or whatever else. Give me the chance Jenna. I discovered you and your breathe taking voice on youtube today, and you made this cloudy day, into a sunny one. I have facebook, a cell phone, msn, and this blog. That is 4 ways you can contact me easily, all im asking is for a chat.

    My name is Violet Zimmermann, but Viola Anelo Amore is my name for facebook and this. If your interested, please do this for me. You will make my year! haha... im inspired and looking forward to talking to you soon? Im 15 years old, and im lesbian.

    P.s. Your videos on youtube mended my recently broken heart just a smidge. :) thanks to you. I am willing to give my cell number to you if you ask, cuz i trust you :) thanks for your time.

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