Sunday, August 9, 2009

Self-viewed Biography

What I don’t admit out loud, I confess in my music. Subsequently when you listen to my music you will be listening to my thoughts. Although to me that seems completely obnoxious, somewhere along the line more and more people appeared to appreciate it. I do not write with any underlying intention. Most of what you will hear is unequivocal and I meant for it to be that way.

When I speak frequently fail to make sense to most people around me. Because of this I have conditioned myself to normality. Some would say that molding myself for the benefit of others is an egotistical decision. However, I view it as forming to the average standard.

In reality my mind is my own. That is something that will never change. I will only refine it in those essential moments.

I disgust immaturity. Which in a sense is very hypocritical, because choosing to disgust anything can be a form of immaturity. So I try to tolerate it, and on rare days… I even try to participate in it. Those that are close to me are accustomed to fighting my complicated mindset. They will sometimes succeed causing me to “let loose” for a short period of time.

In summary you could say it is challenging to act my age. I will even go as far as exposing that I envy those that have an easy-going demeanor.

I am fundamentally complex.

The Box

I often find myself wishing the spirit was tangible. That way, I could grab it and put it in a box. I would take that box everywhere I went and show it to all those who would be willing to feel it. I would love to see the look on people's faces as the spirit overwhelmed them. I think, if we had that type of immediate proof people would listen. People would believe. But life doesn't work out that way. We have to work to open the box. And only after we pry and it, and work our fingers under the cardboard, when we have that sure desire that faith - The box will open. I think in that moment we realize even though our fingers hurt from our previous efforts, the box will only become easier to open from then on. And eventually, if we have continually worked and tried... the box will open whenever we need it to.

But of course. The box was always that easy to open... you just need to believe it can.

The Greatest Picture Of All Time