Friday, August 6, 2010


To want is a curse. It's a curse meant to drive the human mind beyond it's limits and capacity to hold pain.
Wanting never stops.
It begins when the sun rises, and pulls down on your mind when the sun falls.
Sometimes you get close to filling that hole of selfishness. But once it even remotely becomes a filled, a new hole opens up.
Bigger & deeper.
Till eventually you're a human that is constructed of endless holes.
And you frantically run around, trying to find anything to fill them. Desperate to stop wishing. Desperate to stop wanting.

Some people want very little. They are selfless. I usually pity them, because even the small amount they want, they never receive.
But then, it's very rare that we get what we want at all.
Life is full of constant disappointments, and selective pick-me-ups.
It's so much wiser to want less. Because then you wind up less disappointed.

But to those of you that long for the world. To those of you that feel condemned for how much you wish you could carry in your hand... It's you I truly feel for.
You know what it's like to be filled with empty holes.
You know what it's like to fall asleep with nothing.
You know what it's like to hate yourself for being so selfish.
You know what it's like to constantly be unsatisfied.

I've wasted my life looking for things to fill me up.
But I don't know how to stop... wanting...