Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Sometimes I feel so different,

I constantly listen to movie scores.
I bite my nails.
I find it hard to have a lighthearted conversation.
I believe the fortunes in fortunes cookies.
I am not scared of spiders.
I don't like boys.
I still watch Beauty & The Beast, and I still get scared when the beast rawrs.
I view my life in 3rd person.
I am tan, but I wish I was pale.
I can relate to birds, more than the people around me.
I still don't know how to do my make up well.
I love star wars.
I don't know anything about football.
I cry during a movie, not because of the scene, but because of the soundtrack.
I don't ever use my cell phone.
I am a gay, mormon, republican.
I enjoy kissing more than sex.
I can't remember my dreams.
I have never smoked, tasted alcohol, or done drugs.
I believe in ghosts and life outside our planet.
I would rather fly alone than with someone else.
I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
I love to be woken up by another person, no matter how early it is.

and I always want what I can never have.

So often I let people go in my life,
but when someone can love me, despite my many imperfections and differences...
then I desperately cling onto them.
Because I don't even want to love myself.