Friday, August 14, 2009

Bedbugs Bite.

Last night, I had a dream that something I really wanted to happen would happen. 
When I woke up, my heart was beating very fast, I was sweaty, and I was smiling.
Then... almost instantly I realized it was a dream. 
I was completely devastated. It occurred to me that will never happen, no matter how much I wish it would.
How torturous of the dream... to make me think I was succeeding, only to snap me into failure as quick as the dream had come. 
I wanted to scream, act like a child, throw my pillows, and cry my eyes out. 
I began to curse dreams in my mind, maybe even God for making me have them. 
But as I sat there in my bed, I kept picturing the dream in my mind.

It would replay the dream over and over. Feeling how it felt. Savoring every moment. 
If it wasn't for the dream... I would never have that moment. But I had it. Real or not. I had it.
I exhaled and collected myself. 

Our dreams can be completely devastating, but it's our chance at living fiction.
You can't live your own story any other way. 
My best friend said, "Dreams like that shake you for the day. And then, you forget."

I am grateful for remembering now... until I forget. Until reality soaks in. 

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